When you were small
I'd watch you play
I never thought there'd be a day
when you would be so far away
Sometimes at night when I can't sleep
I wonder where you are
I worry that you're hitting
homeless people with your car
I wonder if you're safe
or in a crowded bar
I realize now
that all the things you did
I thought were bad
were better than
the way I feel
without you
which is sad.
I think of how
you rubbed the lotion
on my calloused feet
and how you had to mop the floor
when I took you out to eat
I remember little stump boy
jumping on the trampoline
i hear the happy sounds you made
the day you tried whipped cream
I can see you washing matchbox cars
on my kitchen rug
I can feel your tiny fingers
when they're giving me a hug
I should have punished Sarah
when she rode you like a horse
instead I got the camera
the freak I am, of course.
I think about you every day
I miss you all the time
you have always been my favorite son
and I'm so glad you're mine
I still miss your white blond hair
I miss your big boy underwear
no one understands but you
and no one else looks like me, foo!
If I had one more chance in life
I'd skip the part where I'm a wife
I'm sad for all the things I've done
I couldn't have a better son